Another Ordinary Day

The weather since today morning until now is not that impressive. It was cloudy with a sun for while but now it is raining. I'm weak against this kind of weather. It makes me want to snuggle my soft toys and hide myself inside the duvet. I wish I have banana fritters and hot choc drink to relax and enjoy the weather now. Since we are still in Easter break, I took for granted my holidays instead of studying. It is actually not to a wise thing to do as I will facing my exams in 2 weeks time but oh well...... I was supposedly to start studying today but thanks to the weather that I have now, I (finally) have an excuse to exclude myself from getting started :p

 

I was reading several mangas today and this topic came across on my mind: HOMO. I am not a homophobia. Instead, I love them. I truly do. I have friends that are homos, both females and males. I respect them for they are truly amazing people that I have came acrossed. I am not biased against whosoever for they are human as well. This is truly my own personal opinion about homo. Once again I would like to point out, I LOVE and RESPECT them. I'm not gonna pointed out their faults or whatsoever. I just want to state my personal opinion.  

 

I dont know why these homos being created nor when this homos actually exist. Not long ago, this country made a sudden decision which made people across nation some ruckus regarding the MARRIAGE between homos. PM wanted to grant the marriage between homos but churches all over UK have protested against the idea. This is not because of people (including myself) hates the homos but it is because it will change the definition/basic principle of marriage. It is acceptable to get Civil Partnership instead but marriage??? 

As far as I concern and I know, getting Civil Partnership is equivalent with the Marriage status. The benefits are all the same as the one with Marriage status and that includes adoption. I'm thinking of adopt one for my own in the future by the way :)

 

The basic principle of marriage is ONE MAN+ONE WOMAN and that alone solemnly. Once it change, the meaning of Marriage therefore can be just be abolish and be forgotten. it's not about human right to be treat equally (homos and straights) bla...bla..... This is for the sake of the meaning of Marriage itself.   

I once being asked by this dear friend of mine about my opinion of gay. My answer to him was: they are amazing but in the same time they are disgusting. I told him what made me think gay is disgusting. To be frank with you guys, I am straight. I'm not homo nor bi. So for me kissing or touching each other while both are the same gender makes me feel uncomfortable. Holding hands or snuggling towards each other is acceptable but kissing and touching (certain parts I mean) is really unacceptable for me. Funny fact that you have to know is that, I can accept lebians but not gays. In other words, if lesbians display their affection in public, I'm totally fine but it is vice versa for gays though ><

 

Homos have many amazing things that they possessed. I dont know could it be because of negative perspective given by non-homos makes them tend to be excel in every aspects or its just their nature.  Of all my homo friends, I do realized that they are 100x better than normal people. And once again it hits me to go back to this quote: DON'T JUDGE THE BOOK BY ITS COVER. Be it advise wise, opinion wise, friendship wise, etc.. They are really reliable and constantly giving me the best that they could. I love you guys so much! xx

Some homos of course would not hide their identity as a homo but some is discreet. I have friend who is actually discreet homo which mind you, I have no clue and I LIKED him. Thinking back on how he would keep on saying about gays, I just realized (after he confessed to me that he is gay) that he was actually all way long constantly gives me hints that he is one of them. Guys at my age would not give any damn about how to treat woman appropriately, not to mention I am lack of femine sides and plus we know for years. But since I know this guy.... Well just say that it was really a pleasant feeling knowing him. It took me months before I realized that I actually liked him. I couldnt supressed my feeling any longer so I took the first step and confessed to him. Then he told me that he is gay. 

I cried non stop for days. That partly because I was too shocked and couldnt take the reality and plus he was actually the first man that I looked as a man, not a friend. With this broken heart of mine, I dont think I would find any guy for years to come and that confession would be my first and last confession to a guy. 

It was hard I have to admit, to see right into his face (his eyes especially) after the incident. In fact, I didnt see his face for weeks. Instead of that, we just resumed our texting as usual. Though it was akward but it wasnt as akward as the time when we met again afterwards. It was really hard but I took the initiative and sat beside him while we were inside the church. As our friendship was at the verge, I dont want to make it worse. I dont want to lose him as a friend. He is a great man. The happiest moment for me was when we talked again as if that never happened. We went out and had lunch together after the mass service ended. We started to have conversations but never once we said anything about what had happened and also avoiding the sensitive words like 'couple' or 'gay'. I still like him but its not in that way though. We still friends and  hang out constantly like the old days. 

 

Tell me, is there any chances or possibilities that homo can turned back to be straight one day? And what are the reasons that they turned to be homo if they are not natural homo?